The Lonely Boy

2008-09-29T23:59:00.002+08:00

updating...

Am I a FAILURE???
I think I'm a FAILURE...

I don't know what is love about.
I don't know what should I give to a girl.
I don't know how to care for girl.
I don't how to depend on myself.
I don't know what girl needs.
I don't know what am I thinking.
I don't know why I'm loved by someone.
I don't know why I quarrel with her every time when we sms.
I don't know why is she angry with me.
I don't know why I'm annoying.
I don't know that I'm irritating to her.
I don't know that I stole her freedom.
I don't know that I'm giving her stress.
I don't know that when she need care.
I don't know what makes her upset.
I don't know what makes her happy.
I don't know anything about her now.
I don't know what should I do now.

I feel that we are distanced.
And the distanced is what we know about each other.
The distance we are having is not patchable.
I don't know what she's thinking.
I don't know how to find back the fun time we had before.
I don't know how to gain back the trust anymore.
She had lost trust in me forever.
I don't know what to do.

There's no happy ending for us I think.
We love each other but also not.
I love her.
She love me.
But sometimes it isn't like this.
We are close but yet far.
We are together but yet apart.
She knows me, I don't know her.
Everything about her life I just don't know.

Am I deserve to love her?
I don't know.

2008-05-28T20:19:00.003+08:00

Updating.
It had been a long time not updating the blog le.

Haix, life is so difficult de. Why? Why everything need money?
Can't people live without money? The thing we using having is from the Earth, why do we have to pay money for the resources?

Can't we have a peaceful life?

Now school sucks. I shouldn't have gone back to Sec5. I regretted now. I don't want to live anymore. I don't want the stress keep pressing on me. I just don't understand why so many people wanting the stress to push them to work hard. Can't we work without stress, everything ake a slower pace?

Do we need the stress? Can't we make a difference?

My life sucks. I hate my life now.

I'm L Lawliet. The EMO guy but not as smart as in the cartoon.

2008-04-15T22:03:00.004+08:00

I feel like dying now
Nobody caring about me, nobody love me anymore.

So wad if I have a girlfriend?
Someone Caring about me or not? Someone love me or not?
This world only got myself to accompany me.
No one else is with me.
Death is arriving to me. I can see the dark side, the bright side and a totally empty side. Which path should I take? Anyone leading me?
My mind is full of her, the her I love, I care, I worry.
But what is she thinking about? I tried to dig into her mind but somehow I was blocked from going inside.
Cutting myself now. I should have died earlier. Many times I experienced almost hit by cars when cycling but gotten away from it.
Will she understand me?
What will be her answer?
Let's break up?

2008-03-11T03:59:00.002+08:00

Given her a promise ：“给林馨玲老婆的约定，我不会不要你的，那是因为我爱你啊。我不会离开你的。。。”这次的约定我不会反悔了，因为不想让你受伤了。

2008-01-20T19:28:00.001+08:00

这个世界有永远不变的爱吗？
有些人相信有，有些呢却不相信会有这么一件事。

我相信有，因为爱情是靠自己掌控的，没有人能够破坏。要是爱情在彼此之间有些破坏的话，就代表这段感情不会永久。

Love is all about trust between couple. If the trust to each other is not enough, that mean the love between them is over. When you love someone, you got to trust the person you love, once you find that you don't trust that person must as well break up faster instead in the end you will be sad.
Trust is important, once trustness is off, nobody will believe on each other again and got to break up.

Trust someone you love. Don't trust someone who don't love you, because you yourself will be hurt more.
Don't ever mistrust the one you love. That will give you an ending of sadness and unhappiness.

2008-01-20T00:24:00.001+08:00

Today went back to school to listen to a stupid session. Waste my time only.
From Sec1 till now listening to the same topic over and over again.
We know what to do le, they still want to repeat and repeat again. Must as well record down and let us see better, don't need to waste our time there.

After the session, then go home, bath le, then fall asleep.
Deardear sms me, then I wake up to meet her, accompany her to compasspoint to buy lunch, then send her home after that.

Reach home le, Kian called me to go out, I said don't want, then after awhile Boon Seng call then I find it boring staying at home so decided to go out, because whole family go out le left me at home so go out with friends le lo.

Go to the usual place we go, that is Plaza Singapura, go there want to watch movie de but all the movie we want to watch all left only with the most front seat le, so we don't want it. Then we spend our time in arcade again.
Spent $20+ at arcade.
We invest the money at the basketball machine. Teamed up with Boon Seng, we get 569 point, highest score ever.
Then once again got to rush for last train, but luckily got on train just on time.

Got home le call my beloved Deardear, feel so bad lo, I go out and have fun she at home sick and boring, asked her what happen to her she say don't know. Then heard her voice like sad sad de, ask her why she say nothing.
She can't sleep again, but she want me to sleep first so I hang up the phone, don't whether she can sleep anot. So worry about her now, she didn't get enough sleep since school term started, no wonder she sick now.
Somemore she now can't sleep, tomorrow still need to wake up at 0730hr to accompany her mum to Woodlands.

Getting late liaoo. Just ate 4 panodol down. Need to rest liao cause got block nose, flu le.
Bye

2008-01-18T18:39:00.001+08:00

Love her everyday, every moment, every hours, every mintues, every seconds.
Love her everything no matter what.
Just can't help loving her.
爱情不分彼此，爱情拥有我对你的爱和你对我的爱。因为爱情里只有你和我。
Loving you with no regrets, but only happiness and loving time.

Our love till now never break, till now had already 2 years 9months.
Very very loves her.

2008-01-16T17:25:00.001+08:00

Today is an another of boring lessons.
Secondary school life's boring.
Why did I choose Sec5?
Chosen Sec5 because of her. Keeping her accompany, and help her in her weak sudject.
What I can say is “我愿意为她牺牲，就只是为了和她在一起。她可能不知道为什么我会有如此地为她牺牲。”

Thinking of giving up now, but what I can do? No choice but to stay because of her.

2008-01-15T20:00:00.001+08:00

long time dint update my blog le.
Now here to update it.

Currently studying in Sec5 now, wad to say leh, it kinda boring though but i will like to give it a try to see whether where my standard is.
Going back to skul because there's another reason for it, to accompany my Deardear and to help her in her studies.
I thought to go for ITE or Higher Nitec but because i cant help her if i'm in ITE or Higher Nitec, as I will be studying different thing that I cant help her. Also, to accompany her when she's alone.

Am I stupid?
What I can say is “为了爱情，彼此都会为爱牺牲，何况是为彼此断送性命。”

Although I chosen a path that I can never have a turn back, but i will try my best to finish this path that I had chosen.

2007-05-28T16:24:00.000+08:00

finally updating le...

erm... today morning wake up.. go to skul to have a stupid exam o lvl chinese exam...
OMG... i can tell u it was dam boring lo...
wake up so early reach skul 730, the teacher say start at 8 ma so i go 730 lo, but the stupid teacher den say start at 830..
Dam it lo... So early go skul...Haix... Nvm la...
Den now relax le... no more chinese lesson lo.. Hahas so happy

After the exam le den went to compasspoint wif deardear den meet her mum.. have lunch 2gether... but hor her mum duno me was deardear de bf la... LOLx
her mum tot we juz fren only..hahas^^

Den after the lunch i went home lo.. to TC of my younger brother den pdating here lo...
LOLx

hahas..
i think i will end here le ba...

all rite tat's all...
SAYONARA
Buaii-buaiis

2007-05-13T02:49:00.000+08:00

Update...

Patch back wif her abt 2 weeks le ba...
Have been having good time like b4 but now more better... ^^

Love her much..
Love her till dunwanna let her go again... I really hate the feeling she's not wif me...
Missing her in weekend..
But weekdays feel happy... coz can spend time wif her...
When she goes home, feel like dunwanna let her go... wanna she to be my side..
And i wanna be at her side...
Dunwanna leave her alone, as she scared...
When i feel she's not wif me i'll be not myself again... I'll feel restless and tired...
Wif her i wont feel tat way...

Forever Love wif Her... Nvr ever break wif her & leave her again..

老婆我爱你，很想在你身旁守护着你，爱你...

老婆我爱你... *Muackzs*

2007-03-23T22:12:00.000+08:00

update...

haix... feeling so sad now...becoz i still cant forget her...
i wanna be wif her forever....
why she dunwan giv me the chance to be wif her together forever...
i wanna her to be my GF.. whye she juz cant accept me...
waiting for her to change her mind..
waiting for her to love me bck..
waiting for her ... many things lo...

haix
wanna her now... if can ti'll wait for her.. no matter how long the time is..
i so so love her...
love her like mad person.. cant stop thinking abt her..
although she dun like me.. but i will not give up on her...
coz i believe that she will change her mind lo...
that is my trust to her...

i trusted her lotts.. but dunno she trusted me??
wanna tell her i love her...
wanna go out wif her alone...
wanna hold her hand...
wanna give her a kiss...
wanna... wanna stay together wif her forever...

gonna end here...
SAYONARA...
buiias... buiias

2007-03-18T20:57:00.000+08:00

haiz....

Can someone tell me or tag me i how long din update le...

oh ya... now updating last few day de thing...

Monday: holiday start, kena call bck to skul for lesson.. haiz>> SIAN LA...

Tuesday: go bck to skul agn... >>>SIAN LA...

Wednesday: go bck to skul agn>> CHINESE SIAN LIKE SH!T AR...

Thursday: Nothing much happen...

Friday: Fed-up day,>>Go for CSS, KNN facking judges XXX KIK me out liaoo... But NBM after the STUPID audition go to Seoul Garden to have dinner wif my Gan's Family den feel happy le...

YTD ar... Nothing to do lo... Whole day doing nothing den nite chat wif my gan jie and so called gan ge de fren... hahas

Today ar... whole din do thing... wake up at 1pm... hahas...
now den noe tat i haven even do a single hoiday assignment leh...
hahas... tonite gonna chiong liaoo...

ending here...
SAYONARA..

2007-03-02T21:00:00.000+08:00

today sibeh sian...
lesson is so boring...
today life suxs...

haiz... tmr still nid to go bck for chinese lesson...
den dunno still wan to go for physic anot...

haiz... i dunwan to update le larrhs... so tired...
gonna sleep le...

Sayonara,
byebye...

2007-02-27T20:33:00.000+08:00

long time din update le....
abt 1 week le ba...

wow... today in skul so sian...
lessons is all boring...
tmr still got the facking dnt lesson>>> si beh sian de lo... everytime nid to let teacher see the STUPID dnt folio...
haiz... now do until design brief and design spec. le... but still dunno wad to do for my practical project for the 'N' level...

den tmr oso got test for geography... lucky is it the last paper le... ^^
but i decided not to study coz>> i got study= dunhv study oso fail de...
HAHAS...

Wish mi luck for passing tmr ba...
LOLx..

Okkayys liaoo le laas...
Gonna end here lo...

Sayonara..

2007-02-18T23:16:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

today... the 1st day of lunar new year, quite fun lo...
but not so fun lo...
today on good mood but dunno is it bcoz not much ppl come to my home to celebrate or this year celebration is rather bored lo...

haiz.. juz feel dat this year celebration is boring...
i wan more ang bao... ^^ hehe... jkjk only la...

haas... gonna end here lo...
going to bed liaoo.. so tired...

buai buai..
sweet dream...
muaxz...

2007-02-12T20:04:00.000+08:00

UPDATE...UPDATE...

Haiz, today was an unlucky day... early in the morning caught by DM for my ring... Lucky dat those ring is inexpensive 1, if not i will b v.angry and hit the DM till his blood ran out ar>>> (think only la ^^)

Oh ya, 2 more days to Valentine's Day le... Deep in my heart got her,but deep in her heart dat person is not mi ba i think... haiz... sian.... Dunno wan to buy her gift anot or wan to buy gift... I really dunno... T_T

den 5 more days to CNY eve le... 6 more days to CNY 1st day... 7 more days to CNY 2nd day den 8 more days to CNY 3rd>> maybe go out v my fren... LOLx... I also dunno whye im updating all these things... LOLx

Ending here... byebye

2007-01-23T17:08:00.000+08:00

UPDATE UPDATE...

coming to update coz long time din update my blog den got "spider web" liaoo..

Actually i got nth to sae in tis update lerrhs...
but decide to write sth here...

haiz... skul now is so stress for mi... got so mani HW and TEST coming around tis few weeks...
so sian... dun fell like wanna study lerrhs... wanna give up.. but cant.. at least nid to get 'N' level certs 1st.. so now try to cope my HW & at the same time study for all the 'stupid' test...

kkz.. gonna end here...

sayonara... byebye

2007-01-05T22:46:00.000+08:00

here to update the blog...

skul reopen lo... today is the 3rd day...

1st 2 day din update coz very tired sia so din update...
1st day at skul nth is new to mi... coz there is nth new in skul -.-
2nd day is so tired coz after the 1st day of skul i had been so tired... coz now getting lesser slp lo.. .
now i oso tired... so update lo... if not later my blog rot liaoo.. LOLx.. xD

skul reopen abit happy abit not happy...
happy: can see her in skul lo...
not happy: cannot play much com liaoo... coz dis yr important got 'N' Level... haix... more work to do now... but i will still update my blog wen im free lo...

okkays... dat all le... gts(got to sleep) liaoo..

2006-12-17T01:06:00.001+08:00

Cool... so LONG DIN UPDATE BLOG LIAOO... LOLx

so sian now... so juz come by to update blog abit larrhs...

whye is holidays so bored?? if skul reopen oso bored...
den wad i thought is muz well die den betta so nth is bored liaoo... budd juz jkjk nia larrhs... ^^

time faster pass lerrhs... ... ... ... haix...

how i wish i can dunnid to b bored in life budd cant coz life is juz lyk dis.. -.-''

2006-11-20T21:39:00.000+08:00

haix.. here to update agn..
Why money is so imprtant to everione?
mi oso dunno is money important to mi now. but is money is important or money is not important, i wish everione dun argue for money matter. coz dis world is not only have money is important. take not dat thr are ppl around u dat nid ur help wif ur feeling not mostly money.

i dunno is my words correct anot. if u tiink im correct or incorrect u can tag mi in my taggie. thx.. xD

2006-11-17T23:18:00.001+08:00

haix... HOLIDAES SO SIAN...

everidaes stay at home veri sian sia... wanted to find job lerrhs but dunno wan to work at whr...
mi so useless. everitiing scared lyk a idiot..
mi wan to work but dun dare to go interview. haix. so coward. T_T

haix.. now no mood to writte somemore le. if someone see dis, and got jod to intro tell mi pls.. i realli nid job now..

2006-11-13T02:17:00.000+08:00

waaa... holidaes so sian nth to do de...
i juz everidae stay at home... coz nobody to jio to go out ...so sian..

den stay at home nth to do de... more sian
haix... i love holidaes and oso hate holidaes..
love bcoz i can finally relax frm all the schoolwork and homework...
hate bcoz nth to do in holidaes and getting bored everidae when i wake up...
haix...

so tired of staying at home... it's so sian...
NTH TO DO NOW... so juz update my blog lo...

and oso tiinking abt her... and wad to noe wad she doiin now... is she slping or is she still awake ... i juz dunno...
haix... wan to call her but cant.. wan to see her oso cant... haix

HAIX...HAIX... HOLIDAES IS SO SIAN NOWADAES... hopes dat someone can jio mi go out....

Now i cant slp coz tiinking of her lo... i tiink im goiin to stay awake until morning den can slp lo... haix... but stay up till morning oso nth to do... Juz dunno wad to do...

2006-11-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

haix... 2dae is a boring dae and a important dae...

important : 2dae is my father's b'dae... haha...i almost forget le... LOLx

boring : why boring? coz 2dae go bck to skul veri boring sia... haix... 2dae wake up at 0648... almost overslept sia...
lucky still reach skul on time la... hehe... den hav english 1st den math dne the boring subject of all 'social studies' den after ss is D&T ... but oni D&T not boring coz 2dae D&T learn how to draw & it is quite fun la...
den it end at 1330...
after tat end of skul lo. go home lo. so happy... haha. LOLx.. xD

2006-11-02T17:26:00.000+08:00

UPDATE TIME....

2dae wake up at 0530...den bath... den 0630 go take bus ... 0710 reach skul
den hab math lesson until 0915... after tt go fer D&T lesson until 1030... den thr is english de but the teacher cancel it...
so can go home early...hahahas...
when i reach home at 1136... frens call mi to go compass... den i go lo...
den agn reach home at 1230...
den 1330 start plying maple...
after 3hr& 20min...
LVL up lo...
So happy leh...
Fianlly LVL 60 liaoo leh...
train fer almost 1yrs le den LVL 60...
COOL... FINALLY LVL LO... LOLx... xD

HAHAS... tt all fer 2dae update...
GTG.. BYEBYE...

2006-11-01T19:04:00.000+08:00

todae woke up at 0730.... den ply maple until 0930... den go bath getting rdy to skul...
den 1025 go to bus-stop wait fer bus... reach skul at abt 1122...

den go fer lesson until 1230 den go home myself, so sian...
reach at abt 1320...
den got a bath agn... den slp until 1830... den eat.... den maple agn...ply fer awhile den write post..

thats all fer todae....

byebye

2006-10-31T00:15:00.000+08:00

Yo... here to update liaoo...

todae b4 0000hr...

i wake up at 0550hr den bath den wake my mum up to go to skul wif mi to get bck my handfone...
den after taking bck my fone, she went home... den ltr i got lesson lo... the lesson todae is kem sian lo... haix... but still nid to bear wif it...

den todae she didnt come to skul becoz she go to Genting wif her family... so sian...

tt all i wan to update lo...

Haha..
Bye..Bye...

2006-10-27T18:38:00.000+08:00

Hihi....

I got PROMOTED lo.... Goiin to Sec 4 nxt year..
And i noe my class le... it 4N3...
My Dardar oso get promote le...
She oso in the same class agn...
we been in the same class for 3yrs liaoo... nxt yr will b 4th yr we in the same class....

YAY....

I juz add in the song... dis song is Lin Jun Jie de "Endless Road"...
I lyk dis song and found the lyrics...

Endless Road by: Lin Jun Jie

HO~~~~~~~~
The truth is tearing up
my heart
I can't recognize this place
The endless road without a stop sign
Can't even find a stranger this time
Why am I still holding back my tears
In this loneliness there's nothing to fear
Every chord still seems a wonder
How we could be together
Every time I ask if this
Would be the last
Why am I still talking to myself
Hoping you will have the keys to my cell
Every song might calm the weather
But it just draws me deeper
How do I get out of this
I think I never will...
A crystal forming in the eye
Maybe this would be the last
The winding path down my face
Till I begin to taste the bitterness inside
Why am I still holding back my tears
In this loneliness there's nothing to fear
Every chord still seems a wonder
How we could be together
Every time I ask if this
Would be the last
Why am I still talking to myself
Hoping you will have the keys to my cell
Every song might calm the weather
But it just draws me deeper
How do I get out of this
I think I never will ...
Why am I still holding back my tears
In this loneliness there's nothing to fear
Every chord still seems a wonder
How we could be together
Every time I ask if this
Would be the last
Why am I still talking to myself
Hoping you will have the keys to my cell
Every song might calm the weather
But it just draws me deeper
How do I get out of this
I think I never will ...
I never will ...

2006-10-25T00:34:00.000+08:00

WAAAAH... 2dae go to VIVO CITY....
IT wan so BIG... go thr walk untill my legs now pain liaoo...
But lucky 2dae go out wif frens la... If not i'll wouldnt b enjoying myself...
After we left VIVO CITY... we go watch movie 2gether
we watched Rob-B-Hood... it was so funny & touching...
HAHAs... I tok lyk gal rite???
HAHAs... XD

2dae de Orchard Road not alot ppl thr... So good... JKJK... =P
I tiink all go to VIVO CITY liaoo...
=P

Although 2dae enjoy but my heart still tiinking of sumone i love now at dis time...

KKZ... I'll stop at here liaoo.. coz nth to sae animore..

Buai Buai..

2006-10-23T18:16:00.000+08:00

Waaah...
Exam finally over & get result le... YAY..

YAY... I get promote to Sec 4 le....

But still dunno which class... XD
But after all dis mths & daes mi & my class had gone through is realli aloads....

My result: English 51%
Mother Tongue 61%
Maths 61%
Comb.Hum. 47 %
Comb. Sci. 62%
D&T 57%

So happi leh... 1st time get lyk dis de marks... XD
Now i can enjoy the holidae lo.... HAHAHA.... XD

My dardar oso clear her exams too...
She pass English & 2 other sudjects...
She is so happi coz she can promote to Sec 4

And how i wish tt we could b in the same class nxt yrs agn...
But i tiink can b in e same class la.... XD

2006-10-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

hihi... here is some tips i get frm a site tt is abt HOW a kiss REALLI works... IT'S INTRESTING...
LOOK FOR URSELF

Article 1: Statement of Love: The Kiss

1.
Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2.
Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends

3.
Kiss on the neck
I want you

4.
Kiss on the lips
I love you

5.
Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6.
Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7.
Look in your eyes
kiss me

8.
Playing with your hair
I can't live without you

9.
Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

Article 2: The Three Steps

1. Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.

2. Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.

3. Guys & Girls
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.

Article 3: The Commandments

1.
Thou shall not squeeze too hard.

2.
Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.

3.
Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.

* Remember *

A peach is a peach
A plum is a plum,
A kiss isn't a kiss
Without some tongue.
So open up your mouth
close your eyes,
and give your tongue
some exercise!!!

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:

1.
They will always smell good even if its just shampoo

2.
The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3.
How cute they look when they sleep

4.
The ease in which they fit into our arms

5.
The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6.
How cute they are when they eat

7.
The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

8.
Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9.
The way they look good no matter what they wear

10.
The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11.
How cute they are when they argue

12.
The way her hand always finds yours

13.
The way they smile

14.
The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight

15.
The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....

16.
The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17.
The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"

18.
Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

19.
The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20.
Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21.
The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22.
Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!

23.
The way they say "I miss you"

24.
The way you miss them

25.
The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.